Yesterday

Yesterday I received Emery Hope's social security card in the mail. I honestly thought she wasn't going to be assigned a social security number and that I was finished receiving the hard mail with her name on it. Boy, was I wrong. I started going through our mail... throwing the junk in the trash by the mailboxes at our apartment. And there it was - Emery Hope McCants from the social security administration. 

I broke down right there at the mailbox. 

Talk about catching a Mama off guard - get something like that in the mail after your daughter has been gone for over a month. 

Then open it up and realize our government issued it to her March 14th. My daughter had been gone for well over a month when they issued her a social security number. Oh our government. 

I guess at least I have one. I can just hold on to it forever. 

Yesterday - I purged our closets like a mad woman, too. I'm talking I believe we had 4 bags of goodwill stuff, 6 or 7 bags of trash, and I did something I've never done before I sold the girls things. I've made quite a bit of extra cash just selling things. 

I've realized that kids items sell a lot better than grown ups. I've tried to sell some of my things and had very few hits on it. But the girls stuff wasn't even on the Buy, Sale, or Trade page for 24 hours and I've sold 90% of it. WOW!!! 

Jordan said he didn't know why I haven't always done that. You wanna know the honest answer? THAT WAS SOME HARD WORK! I see the benefit - the money -  but man, oh man, I worked harder than what I made. LOL! It's easy to just throw that stuff in a trash bag and take it to Goodwill. But to take it all out, set up outfits, take pics, post the pics, etc. It was a lot of work. 

It kept me busy though! I enjoyed the busyness of it. Jordan took the girls with him to Guitar Center. So, not only did I have the busyness of the purging of closets but I had the quietness of the house with everyone gone. 

I enjoyed having The Message on XM radio blaring through the house as I cleaned. I enjoyed praying and looking through a lot of things that I really haven't seen in a while. 

The girls love when I clean like that, too because they see things they haven't seen in months or in this case probably years (it's been 2 years since I purged closets). Why is that such a hard task for anyone to do?! I hate it! 

I just felt like we needed a fresh start for Spring...so, Spring Break that's exactly what we are doing. Plus, a lot of sleeping! I love sleeping. 

I need some time to be refreshed. 

Yesterday, too, we had a beautiful sunset right outside our apartment. I asked if my family had seen it and Addison went running "LOOK! THERE'S BABY EMERY!" 

yes, we notice her all the time. She is always in our daily lives. You have to find things to bring you comfort when you lose a child, or in my girls' case their baby sister! 

Today I received the proofs for Emery's headstone (I had a sweet friend remind that I received them today so tomorrow, On Wednesday, I won't have receive such a hard email). Take a look at my sweet girl's headstone - the typo will be fixed and we have decided to use "our" instead of "my" in the saying just because she was OURS. And we share her with the world because she touched so many lives with those tiny little feet. She has touched the lives of many... and it is this Mama's duty to have her legacy live on. (Her legacy - her 23 day old legacy - ha, I have to laugh at that, but boy did that girl touch some people). 

This blog post feels like it went in about 5 million different directions but that's where my heart is tonight. Forgive me? :-)