Good Days & Bad Days

Some days are good days, while others are bad days. We make it through one day at a time; one foot in front of the other; we get by. 

Friday I felt down for some reason, maybe it was because the girls were going away for the weekend, maybe it was just a day, maybe it was because Addison had her check up to make sure her pneumonia was cleared. I just don't know but I was down. 

I got up and got ready to take Addison to the doctor for her check up. I was praying hard her pneumonia was cleared. She was really wanting it cleared so she could go to Willy Wonka with MiMi and Pa Marky in Crossville. The doctor cleared her. She was so happy. The doctor asked her if since she was better did she have big plans - Addison smiled ear to ear and said "I Get to go see Willy Wonka!!!" I was so happy that she was cleared - for more than one reason! 

After we left the doctor, I thought we should go surprise Makenzi for lunch at school. Everyone there welcomed me with open arms and wanted to hug me. It made me feel so good. No one made me feel as good as my big girl did. We walked to the hallway talking to another Mama while waiting on Makenzi. When Makenzi turned the corner, I saw her talking to her friends... then she spotted me. Her little mouth dropped open, and she smiled so wide... and then in the middle of her conversation, she ran as fast as she could to me and jumped in my arms. That right there made my whole day!!!! She brought "happy tears" to my eyes as she always says! Addison looked at her and said "aren't you going to hug me, too?" Those girls know how to melt my heart! 

When I picked Makenzi up from school, I got the girls some supper & then got them ready for their play with MiMi and Pa Marky. They had brand new dresses that they were so excited to put on. Addison even had her Baby Emery teddy bear ready to take to see the play with them. Baby Emery is everywhere! The girls looked beautiful - I did their hair and even put on a little make up for them. My girls are growing way too fast and are so beautiful. They make me so proud! We can never have just a normal photo shoot - they have to show funny faces, too! I love the emotions in these pictures. 

I had text Jordan telling him I sure wished we had tickets to the Blake Shelton concert downtown Friday night. I just wanted us to do something besides dinner and a movie. I needed something to get my mind off of my day & just have fun with my husband. He went running out on Broadway during his show to talk to the scalpers - they were wanting $150-$200+ for tickets. He didn't do it and it's a good thing. I ended up getting on Ticketmaster and I got us the BEST seats!!! We had floor seats in section 1, row 14. We were right beside the stage. Jordan thought I must have paid $400 a ticket. I got our tickets for $172 total - both tickets! I just say that was a God and Emery Hope thing. They knew we needed a night out just hanging out together. I enjoyed it so much. We had a blast. 

Saturday I was able to go downtown to watch Jordan's 2-6 show and then the couple I was sitting with during his show wanted to go to Blake Shelton that night. Blake Shelton was in town for two nights. They ordered us all tickets - and we went back Saturday night. We felt like Blake Shelton groupies. Let me tell you - we had the BEST weekend together even if we saw Blake Shelton twice. We laughed, we cried, we smiled, we just had fun! We needed that so much! God knew that and blessed us so much with a good weekend together. 

Sunday morning I got up to head to church because MiMi & Pa Marky were bringing the girls back to church. I needed to see my girls. I had a blast with Jordan but I was ready for their arms to wrap around me. The girls were super happy to see me but probably not as happy as I was to get their hugs. We had a little photo shoot sitting outside of Five Guys when we got there. I sure do love these girls and they can make me smile easily. 

They have both decided they need to sleep with the one sleep mask we have! I think it is absolutely adorable looking at them asleep with the mask on. :-) 

Now that I've gotten the weekend caught up - I was so tired today and I honestly thought that was my problem, but it was just a bad day! I was on the verge of tears all day. I missed my baby so bad. I am selfish and I want her HOME with me, not HEAVEN! I am just human. 

When Jordan got up, I decided even though it was a bad day I wanted to go pick out her headstone. There we went! We were both on edge (it was a bad day for all of us). We talked about what we wanted. They gave me all kinds of pictures of headstones to pick out. It was so overwhelming. I would ask Jordan his opinion and he would say I don't care, I just want her to have one and I want you to have exactly what you want out there! So, we would go back and forth. I finally picked out a beautiful heart headstone (as beautiful as a headstone can be). They are going to send me the proofs this week for me to decide. I must admit that was such a hard thing for me to do! I cried and I just couldn't take it. 

We left there and I asked him to please take me to the cemetery. Sometimes, it's so hard to go out there and other times I just need to be there! Today, I needed to be there. We walked out to her little spot and I just stood there! I prayed silently over her. I watched my big girls run around and play under the tree she is buried under. I watched them play on their "castle" (it's just a place where a monument used to stand). I missed Emery but I know she was there while we were just hanging out beside her body. 

When we were leaving the cemetery, I asked Jordan if we could take the girls to the big park because I just wanted to spend the day with my family....outside playing! I needed a day with them playing. The girls had a blast. We needed that today. I love my family. I took a selfie of us all 4 - and in the back you can see the sun setting. Emery Hope was ever present today! 

Thank you God for small blessings. Thank you God for holding me on days I don't know how I stand. Thank you God for my family! Please continue just to be with us on these hard days - maybe one day our good days will be more than our bad days. For now we know your strength is our strength!