Heaven

Why does Heaven have to be so far away? 

"If heaven wasn't so far away, I'd load up the kids and go for the day."

The girls have had a few moments over the last few days when we are talking about heaven. 

I've told Addison that heaven is our forever home, waiting for us when we die. Jesus has prepared us a special place and it'll be more than we can ever dream or imagine. 

We have talked about how that is HOME and this HOME is TEMPORARY. At 4 years old she doesn't understand that. She looked at me while we were at the small dog park last week and pointed back to our apartments and said "No, Mama, that's our home." 

She will get it. She is ok with Emery being in heaven but she doesn't quite understand the difference in TEMPORARY and FOREVER. And that is ok because sometimes it's even hard for me to grasp. 

Addison loves talking about heaven. She knows that's where her baby sister is, so she wants to talk about Baby Emery daily. She will tell you how Baby Emery is in heaven but she's always with us. She's more at peace with this than I believe any of us are. 

Sunday night when I was starting the girls bath, they both said "Mama, will you put your feet in the bath with us so we can sit and talk for a little while?"

What do I do? I pull my pants legs up, put a towel down on the side of the tub, and put my feet in the tub. We talk about heaven. It's just a main topic of conversation for us at this point in our lives and our grieving process. 

Addison looks at me as serious as can be and says "Mama, do they have cameras in heaven?" 

I said "I don't know, Addison. But I sure would like that because I would be able to take all the pictures of Baby Emery I've always wanted to take of her." 

She smiles and then says "Mama, we could take a family picture and Jesus could be in it with us." 

Now that would be awesome!!! I think I'd blow that one up big as a wall in my mansion in heaven. :-) 

As I was reading to Makenzi out of her bible story book the other night, we were reading about the lady and son with the flour and oil that God continuously provided for. 

The young boy died, but Elijah (God's prophet) was there and he took the young boy upstairs while his Mama was mourning him and prayed for God to save the boy. God did. He brought the boy back to life and Elijah took him back to his Mom. 

Makenzi looked at me with tears in her eyes and said "Mama, you could've done that with Baby Emery." 

With tears in my eyes, I had to tell her I did that with Baby Emery. I cried my eyes out as I told her I never stopped praying for God to please spare Baby Emery. I told her even as I was holding her when they told me that was the end I prayed for a miracle. God just didn't give me my earthly miracle, but He answered my forever prayer by allowing her to be healthy, no pain, no tubes, etc. She just had to go to heaven to get the healing we wanted for her. 

I told her we don't understand that and we won't ever understand it. God's plans are good all the time but sometimes we do not understand them. But our job is to continue to bring him the GLORY! 

She said "He did bless us, Mama. He blessed you and let you see her and love her for 23 days, Mama!" 

I said "He Did! And I promise your baby sister knew you and your sister loved her more than life. Don't you ever think you weren't included in that short blessing we received." 

Makenzi understands a little more about heaven and how that is our forever home. 

My girls have an amazing love for Jesus. I want to continue to instill that love for Him. I want them to continue to bring Him all the glory in All Things even when it's hard. They bless me more than they will ever know. I couldn't be prouder of them. 

Heaven is far away... but I know my Emery is happy and whole there. I am thankful we can talk about heaven and Emery at home. I am thankful that we can talk about how blessed we are to have known her sweet spirit & we can talk about how we will all see her again in heaven. And hopefully, get that big family picture with Jesus!!! I can't wait!