Be Present | | Living For The Moment

It has been absolutely beautiful the last two days! 

We have this small "dog park" within walking distance of our apartment. After school, we have walked over to it. 

The park has a volleyball court and a frisbee golf course. Pa Mark bought the girls new balls and a frisbee on Sunday, so we have made use of them the last two days. 

Yesterday we walked over and played a little volleyball and frisbee. The girls loved it. 

It's just little things that seem to make them happy, which in turn puts a smile on my face. 

Jordan was able to be with us yesterday at the park. He was trying to teach the girls how to throw the frisbee, which is quite the task for an almost 8 year old and a 4 year old. They decided it wasn't much fun to try to throw the frisbee the right way. 

The park, also, has a walking trail. We walked around it twice. I ended up giving Addison a piggy back ride on the last one to come back to the apartment. 

They have benches for you to sit on, too. There's not a lot to do there but we enjoy it. And we seem to have it to ourselves most of the time, which the girls enjoy. 

While Jordan & I were sitting on the bench, the girls wanted to bounce the balls on the only concrete spot in the park. The concrete spot is supposed to be a frisbee golf driving range. Jordan & I laughed because they had 550 feet set up there for the "Frisbee golf driving range." I'd like to see someone throw a frisbee 550 feet. If you can do that, then call me... we need to chat and go to the park together. :-) 

We went back today. I was a little cooler today but we were still there doing the same things - playing ball, bouncing the ball, walking, and just being together. 

I am reminded in these times to be present every day. I strive to be a constant part of the girls lives. I want them to remember all the fun times we had and that Mama was there! We laugh and we joke and we play. 

Yes, we are human and there are times when my moment needs to just be alone... but if I am doing something with them and for them, I try my best to be 100% present for them. 

As we sat out at the park today, they wanted to sit on the benches that faced the road and watch the cars go by. It's the simple things. We were blowing on those flowers that you can make a wish on (forgive me, but I can not for the life of me remember what they are called as I am typing them) and Addison was wishing for a doll, which is her normal, but Makenzi had a serious look on her face. 

I asked her what she was wishing for. She told me she couldn't tell me or it wouldn't come true. HA! I managed to still get it out of her. I said "just tell me, please" and she did. She told me "Mama, I was just wishing for another baby sister because I miss Emery." 

Oh sweet girl! That melted me... and I reminded her that I missed Emery so much, too. We haven't really talked to the girls (at 7 and 4) that we just don't think it's in our cards to have another baby. It's just not a conversation I want to have with them right now. I can barely talk about it myself. 

But as we were talking about it we started talking about Emery and how she was in heaven. I told them I wished she was here as much as they do but God just needed her HOME. 

Addison was confused. She said "HOME?! This is our home." 

We had the talk on how this is our temporary home, but heaven is our forever home and Emery just got to go to our forever HOME earlier than we did. 

Addison is still confused. She looks back towards the apartments and said "Nope, that's our home over there." HAHA! 

To be 4 years old... she is the one that is more ok with Emery being in heaven but she doesn't understand how this world is temporary. It is a moment where I will have to continue to teach her. 

And I have to admit that it's even hard for me to understand sometimes. It's hard to comprehend. I know HEAVEN is my reward and I can't wait to meet Jesus and worship Him there & see my baby girl, Emery... but it's hard! 

All of this the last couple of days have just reminded me to be present with my girls. I want to live in every moment with them. I want to always find a teachable moment with them. I want them to grow to LOVE the LORD so much. I want them to understand the sacrifice Jesus made. I want them to be in heaven one day (hopefully, a long time from now). I want them to be better women than me. 

So, I will do my best to be present in their lives every single day of mine. 

As I was leaving town tonight, I walked out of the store and there she was! Pink sunsets melt me. I may have sat a little too long watching it go completely down. I sure do miss that sweet girl, but seeing those pink sunsets just make me smile. It puts a little bit of happiness in my voice that sometimes sounds really down. 

Psalm 116:1-2 "I love the LORD, because He has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because He inclined His ear to me, therefore I will call on Him as long as I live."